Renewing Wedding Vows

by Robbie Schlosser · 6 comments

Thanks in advance for reading this article. I appreciate your interest and hope you get a few good ideas. I'd love to hear what you liked. Please write me a little COMMENT below. Start a conversation. Tell me what you think, and I'll reply. Promise.

Renewing Wedding Vows is on my mind this week.

I haven’t mentioned this to my wife, Bunch, yet, but I’ve already been thinking about renewing ours.

I’d better tell her soon.  Actually, I expect to find she’s already been thinking about renewing wedding vows, too.

Renewing wedding vows these days usually involves lots of personalizing.  Like their first wedding vows, renewal vows are often created — in part, or entirely — by the bride and groom.

Yet all wedding vows seem to reach back to include a traditional sentiment about “for better or for worse”.

Bunch & Robbie's birthdayAfter being married almost 40 years now, I understand that most sentiments like “for better or for worse” mean sometimes you can be together to hold hands, and other times the best you can do is share a phone call.

But you can always share SOMETHING.

By the way, we can always share some good time at a party.  Any party.  Here’s a picture of Bunch, me, and my sister, Kay, at my birthday party some years ago.  Yeah, right, one way or another, I’m always attending a wedding or party.  Even my own.  (And what’s with those huge eyeglasses?)

Robbie and Bunch 2001Here we are again, about 15 years ago, joining the celebration at my niece Bonnie’s wonderful wedding reception.  In my eyes, Bunch hardly changes, but I’m glad to be about 40 pounds lighter nowadays.

I’ve participated in easily over a thousand wedding ceremonies with the Magnolia Jazz Band, and there’s always been something in the wedding vows that chokes me up.  I’m just a softie, I guess, but I don’t mind.

Sometimes the trigger comes from that well-known passage attributed to the Apostle Paul.  You know, the one beginning, “Love is patient, love is kind…”.  Gets to me every time.

I wonder why.  My first guess is that I’m so deeply touched by the newlyweds’ vow to make such a total personal commitment.  The divorce rate in America should make many newlyweds pretty embarrassed after several years.  What is it now — about 50%?  Something like that.

Humiliating, that people can’t keep such a profound promise.

Well, I think it’s a profound promise.  Maybe 50% of today’s newlyweds disagree, and instead opt for pursuing momentary convenience, rather than working to maintain a lifelong bond.  I hope the problem isn’t so black-and-white after all, but it seems to me all it takes is two people wanting to work together.

What do you think?  Is getting married these days really like just trying on a new pair of shoes?

Hmmm… maybe I’m just getting too old to like freedom without responsibility.

Bottom line: I hope newlyweds cherish their wedding vows, and live by them.  Renewing wedding vows is a wonderful way to keep their original promise alive.  Have you renewed yours?

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I am moved that you are kind of excited to renew your wedding vows after 38 years together. My partner and I have been together 17 years and I am more in love with her than ever. However we didn’t get married during the little window when we could’ve and I often find myself musing what I might say as my vows were we ever to stand together in that ritual. It is a bitter sweet kind of drifting and seeing your post makes me think again, what if?

Robbie Schlosser

Hi Vicki,
Glad you enjoyed my post.  I’m hoping another window opens soon, and it’ll be enormous and remain open!  In the meantime I look forward to sharing more blog comments with you.

Darcie Newton

My husband talks about renewing our vows on our 20th anniversary.  I’m not sure.  My grandfather was adamant that he’d made the commitment once and that was enough.  My grandparents were married for 52 years and death was the only thing that parted them.  Certainly it is a personal choice.  I love going to weddings because they remind me of how lucky I am to have found my husband so many years ago.


Robbie Schlosser

Thanks, Darcie.  Your Grandfather’s comment makes me think that we informally renew our vows every day, so what’s the big deal about making a special fuss on a significant anniversary?  I’d reply that it’s just another way to make a grand gesture to celebrate a remarkable relationship.  I fondly remember our 20th anniversary, and expect you’ll enjoy yours, too, however you celebrate.

Robbie Schlosser

Thanks, Julieanne.  Of course I’ve had a few doubts, who hasn’t?  I expect each of us has an occasional moment when we can wonder about anything — getting married, our own good sense, our friends, anything.  As long as our thoughts help us move forward and make things better, rather than get stuck, we’re doing OK, right?

Lawyers in Singapore

Now-a-days people think about divorce is like it is a halwa that everyone should take it in his life. They do not even know how this will be going to effect their children’s childhood.A couple never think about their parents and children, they just decide that they want divorce before thinking about their kids a single momemt of life.Divorce is like hell. You can never become happy in your life if you are cheating yourself and making false decisions in life.Always try to resolve problems in life instead of getting rid of them. Thanks for sharing this post with us.

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