Kindness and Compassion

Thanks in advance for reading this article. I appreciate your interest and hope you get a few good ideas. I'd love to hear what you liked. Please write me a little COMMENT below. Start a conversation. Tell me what you think, and I'll reply. Promise.
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Are Kindness and Compassion useful for business?  Particularly for managing a jazz band?  Why not ask are Kindness and Compassion — and also humility, patience, and gentleness — useful for being a good person and leading a good life, no matter how you make a living?

My answer is YES, of course, as long as you don’t spend your life alone in a cave and you really do business with actual people.  And my jazz band certainly qualifies on both counts.  How about you?

What’s that?  So you DO deal with people every day.  One way or another, you serve to help their dreams come true.  Big dreams, little dreams, whatever — this is one way of looking at what we’re ALL doing.

Your success in business (and in life) depends ultimately on how you treat people.  Be a good person first of all.  Life isn’t always fair, of course, but good fortune usually follows kindness.  Some say it’s your reward from the Deity.  We’re also taught that thoughtful preparation and hard work are important, too, so everything you do counts.  Let me make my point with an example.

Bernadine, my mother-in-law, is the cheeriest person I ever met.  Always, always pleasant and jolly.

Bernie has been living with us since January 2009.  At 91, she is seriously ill and gradually declining.  She can still take care of a few little personal tasks, like toothbrushing and drinking her favorite coffee, but not enough to live without constant help — washing, dressing, eating, reading, walking.  So my wife and I keep her company every day, nearly every minute she’s awake.  Usually both of us, and when one has to be away, the other usually is here.  A few friends visit once or twice a week, to relieve us for a few hours of “family time”.

Our mission is to keep Bernie safe, healthy, and happy.  We’ll keep her comfortable and take it one day at a time.  My wife is very devoted to Bernie, and I’d expect nothing less, because I know there’s usually a strong bond between a daughter and her mother.  But I’m surprised to recognize how strongly the experience is affecting me.  Grateful, too, for I’m learning wonderful lessons, helping me develop kindness and compassion, as well as humility and all the rest.

Nearly blind and hard of hearing, Bernie moves slowly and cautiously.  She has her moments of sharp clarity, but usually she’s able to remember only very little — like perhaps what she ate for breakfast an hour earlier — so she’s REALLY living in the ”here and now”.

To avoid frustrating her but to help her brain stay agile we seldom ask her to remember anything, but often ask her to recognize something (“Oh, yes, this is applesauce”).

Through it all she stays upbeat.  Cracks me up whenever she replies to my teasing with one of her quick wisecracks.  Every day brings a new adventure for her, and we help her find something positive and enjoyable in whatever she does.

Bernie can sit quietly for a while, as though worrying about something, but she stays smiling.  I often wonder what’s on her mind.  Maybe nothing much, like the tree out front, or maybe it’s a bewildering swirl of confusing thoughts, sounds, and images.  Perhaps it’s distressing, if she senses the loss of yet another ability.  That certainly would be worrisome for me.

Most likely, though, I like to think she’s enjoying a few moments of calmness, reflecting that she feels happy and well cared for.  And on those brief occasions when she gets agitated, she’s probably feeling she’s supposed to be doing something, but can’t remember what.

A cute little cat used to live with us, and I’d often stare into her eyes and wonder what’s on her mind.  I never managed to answer that.  I’ve never raised children, either, and I presume all parents ask themselves a similar question:  What’s this kid thinking about, and how can I capitalize on that to make her life better?

I’m sure I’m a better person for what I’m learning from Bernie.  She’s setting a fine example for appreciating what’s actually here right now, and being pleasant in the face of the unknowable.  And I’m learning to slow down my pace to match hers, see to her needs, be with her, and help her deal with an increasingly confusing world.

I suppose this experience ultimately is helping my jazz band business, too.  For example, in conversations I listen better, particularly to grasp what people mean when they speak.  And I’m better able to let my jazz band help people enjoy their celebrations.  Better able to put myself in their shoes, share their dreams, help them find what they need, and deliver the goods.
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Bottom line:  This adventure is making me a better person.  That’s foremost.  Improving my business, and all the rest, will surely follow.  Meanwhile, what is making YOU a better person?
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The Magnolia Jazz Band entertains regularly at weddings and parties throughout the San Francisco Bay Area.  If you’re ever nearby, you’ll love catching us in action, seeing and hearing us create a great mood.  In the meantime, please join our Facebook “fans”, and you’ll get reminders for our public events.

Thanks for reading this article. I appreciate your interest and hope you get a few good ideas here. Got one or two? I'd love to hear what you liked. Please write me a little COMMENT below. Start a conversation -- I'll reply. Promise.

By the way, does a friend need help selecting wedding or party music? Do them a favor: EMAIL this article, or SHARE it on Facebook, LinkedIn, or Google+.

And if you find my blog useful, please LIKE it, TWEET it, and SUBSCRIBE for more ideas. Use those cute little icons below.

Meanwhile, the Magnolia Jazz Band entertains at weddings and parties throughout the San Francisco Bay Area. If you are ever nearby, you’ll love catching us in action, seeing and hearing us create a great mood.

How can I help you? Call 408-245-9120 or use [email protected]. Planning a celebration? Ask about our availability.

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