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Are you a good talker?
Good listener, too?
Making my way through life depends on my ability to talk and listen well.
It’s probably true for you — it certainly is for me.
With my colleagues and fellow musicians, of course. Here’s a musical conversation. Photo by my friend Vinh Nguyen.
And also with the people we entertain. Especially talking with my clients and their guests.
With guests at the celebration, our conversations cover hundreds of subjects, and they often begin and end with their thoughts about music. What music they’re enjoying, more favorite songs and artists, their own experiences as musicians, the list goes on.
Before the celebration we talk with our clients about music, too. Whether they’re planning a wedding or a party, most people are concerned with selecting particular songs to highlight a few significant moments. And also to set and maintain the perfect atmosphere.
In all these conversations, whatever I tell people depends on what I hear them saying. Especially when I’m helping someone select music. It’s a job most of my clients have very little experience with, and it’s one I handle all the time.
So I’m usually asking a few leading questions and listening carefully to their hopes and plans for the perfect celebration, and how the music will fit in.
Then asking another few questions, listening carefully to more answers, and all the details gradually come together.
This is always a fascinating conversation, and its success depends more on what I listen to, less on what I say. In fact, the better I listen, the more I can say to guide our conversation.
This conversation reminds me of how I feel playing in my band.
Have you ever played in a jazz band? It’s a terrific way to make a living, and you learn several valuable “rules for life”.
One of these rules is “Success Requires Careful Listening”.
Just like in any conversation you might have, the musicians I work with carry on a little “give-and-take” magic while we’re playing.
When we play any familiar song, we all know the melody and harmony, and together we just help it along. Whatever one of us “says” depends on what we hear the others saying. And the better we hear, the better we can play.
Same with YOUR conversations, right? So I often remind myself “To be a good talker, listen better”.
This is probably true for you; definitely for me. Watch for it next time you catch us in action.
So here’s a tip: Speak less and listen more. Watch your conversations improve.
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Meanwhile, the Magnolia Jazz Band entertains at weddings and parties throughout the San Francisco Bay Area. If you are ever nearby, you’ll love catching us in action, seeing and hearing us create a great mood.
How can I help you? Call 408-245-9120 or use [email protected]. Planning a celebration? Ask about our availability.
